5 Harmful Personal Money Mindsets You Can Heal Today (Part 1)

It's not always easy to identify the money mindsets you hold that can be harmful (even if they're taught as a good thing!) - so in the first installment of this series, I'll break down 5 harmful mindsets I see in personal finances and share a simple step you can take TODAY to start the path of healing.

This is Part 1 of the 5 Mindsets Series!

#1: Budgeting is for when you don’t have much money.

Most people start budgeting because they don’t feel they have enough money. They budget so they can make the most of what they have. However, that’s led to a major misconception that budgeting is for broke people, or simply for a specific season of life.

However, it’s important for your financial future to realize that intentional money management is not only how you ATTAIN wealth, it’s also how you KEEP it. The more money you have to manage, the more important it is to keep being intentional with it!

👉 Try This! Break free of budgeting only for necessity. What is one big “crazy” dream you’d love to be able to fund financially one day? Write it down. If I told you that it could happen with an intentional system and enough patience, would that get you more interested in budgeting in a shame-free and sustainable way?

Read More: When Is It Ok to Stop Budgeting?

#2: You should limit how much money you spend as much as possible.

Saving good, spending bad, right? Not necessarily. What’s the point of saving money if it’s not going to be used for anything? Money in and of itself has no value. What gives it value is what it can be used for. Whether you’re spending money on bills or spending money on life-changing experiences, money is meant to be SPENT. It’s ok to do so.

Your budget isn’t about suffocating yourself with some arbitrary (and often unrealistic) spending limit just for the sake of not spending money. It’s about intentionally building your wealth and accumulating the funds for the priorities you have.

👉 Try This! If shame-free spending is a foreign concept for you, it’s time to start practicing. Think of something small that you’ve been putting off or trying to justify yourself out of purchasing. Maybe it’s something you’ve always wanted, or something that you think would bring value to your life. It could be as simple as an aesthetic organizing bin, wall art for your office space, or a new sweater. Buy it! And don’t apologize for it.

#3: Wealthy people are usually selfish; no good comes from having that much money.

Many of us harbor negative views of wealthy people, whether we’re conscious of it or not. That’s because the media only likes to show us the worst of the worst - the extravagance, the scandals, the selfish and greedy who take advantage of others.

But the reality is that most millionaires are regular, hard-working, generous people. In fact, you might know more millionaires than you think you do. Our perception is skewed because of the minority percentage of the “crazy rich people” who make headlines, but it’s important to realize that you will always struggle to accumulate wealth if you feel shame and resentment towards the very existence of money in your bank accounts.

👉 Try This! Imagine that you landed the contract of your dreams tomorrow and suddenly had $20,000 in freed up cash to do whatever you wanted with. For the sake of this example, let’s assume your regular bills are taken care of. What are three positive things you could do with this cash? You can list out whatever you’d like, but if you need help try to think of one thing you could do for yourself (fun only), one thing you could do for someone you love, and one thing you could do for a community you care about.

Read More: The National Study of Millionaires (Ramsey Solutions; Learn more about how “normal” millionaires really are!)

#4: Finances are a private, personal matter.

People resist talking about their finances for a variety of reasons. Interestingly, I’ve seen that people will hide their financial details whether they’re poor or wealthy! Money is a taboo topic, so we create islands for ourselves to struggle (or succeed) in silence.

But we don’t succeed in anything by ourselves. You may need the support of your significant other, your family, your friends, your boss, or your community to succeed. In turn, any of these people may need YOUR support to succeed as well. We exist to coexist. By being human, you are a part of a community of people.

👉 Try This! Identify one person that you feel safe broaching the topic about money with. (If you don’t have anyone, send me a DM on Instagram!) Commit to speaking more openly about money with this person. Some simple conversation starters:

“I’m setting a financial goal for myself - can I share it with you so someone can hold me accountable and remind me that I wanted to do this when I get tired later?”
“I really admire what you were able to accomplish with X - if you don’t mind me asking, what do you think led to your success?”
“I feel like being able to X would be really helpful for our family. Can we take a look at our finances together and see if we can make a plan to work towards this?”

Read More: Why Talking About Money Helps You Hold On to It (Christina Heiser, NBC News)

#5: When you have wealth, you can buy more!

Wealth is often associated with an “ability to spend.” You picture the big house, the shiny car, the lavish closets. A great example of this is with doctors, a profession well-known for its high salary. And yet, despite making an average of $200k a year, many doctors continue to live paycheck-to-paycheck.

The reason? Polls have shown that about 25% of doctors spend all, most, or more than their income. They go from broke college students to high earners and, instead of saving money and paying off their medical school debts, they start buying big to match the lifestyles of other doctors they work with.

“If you make a good income each year and spend it all, you are not getting wealthier. You are just living high. Wealth is what you accumulate, not what you spend.” - Thomas J. Stanley, The Millionaire Next Door

👉 Try This! Calculate your net worth by totaling up the cash you have and any major assets you own (such as your home or investment accounts), then subtracting out any debt balances you have. Some rough “napkin math” is fine! THIS is the true measure of your wealth - not your income, not your credit score, and not the amount of shiny stuff you have that either (A) has no resell value or (B) you still owe money on. How does this metric shift your priorities?

What to Do Now…

If all you did is skim or read the list above, then I encourage you to pause now and go back to the mindsets that resonated with you most. Grab a piece of paper or open a blank document on your computer and try the activities I recommended. They only take a few minutes! After completing one activity, pause and reflect on how you feel after. Do you feel even the slightest shift?

If yes, now you know what you want to try and do more of to keep that shift going. Use this as your starting point for your journey!

If not, that means something, too! Try and reflect on WHY this may not have worked for you. Maybe this isn’t actually the root mindset issue you’re struggling with, or maybe you’re struggling with it for a different reason. There is still plenty more to explore here!

Want to read more about common harmful money mindsets and practical steps you can take to start your healing? Click here to browse the 5 Mindsets Series!

Are you ready to take your financial journey to the next level? Then you may be ready to check out the More With Money Academy!

This ever-growing collection of online courses and trainings are specially designed to support entrepreneurs like you on your path to financial wellness. The Academy contains carefully designed courses that are easy to understand and implement so that you can be empowered with the practical concepts, streamlined systems, and powerful mindset to transform your business and personal finances.

Click here to explore what the More With Money Academy has to offer!

I'd love to continue the conversation in the comments! Feel free to share your thoughts.

Until next time!