5 Secrets to Achieving True Contentment (So You Can Stop Spending Money)

I believe that budgeting gives you permission to spend and use your money however you’d like. However, disciplined spending can be a difficult challenge to manage when you struggle with the impulse to buy more. Today, I want to share with you 5 not-so-often-talked-about secrets to achieving true contentment so you can stop mindlessly spending money!

Secret #1: Practice Gratitude

You’ve probably heard this one before, but taking a moment to practice gratitude is a great way to refocus on what you already have, instead of what you want. Studies have found:

“Simply journaling for five minutes a day about what we are grateful for can enhance our long-term happiness by over 10%.”
“Those who are the most grateful also tend to be less materialistic…” and those people in turn “enjoy greater life satisfaction.”
Gratitude is also a factor in finding meaning, and “those who find meaning and purpose in their work are often more effective and more fulfilled throughout their career.”

You don’t have to make this a regular routine, but you’ll find that you’d benefit by doing so! Still, at the very least, make an effort to mentally run through a list of things you’re grateful for every now and then (or whenever you’re feeling the need to splurge).

Secret #2: Take a Page From the Minimalists

I wish I remembered where I heard this, but a woman once reframed minimalism (more specifically, the act of purging through our belongings) for me in a way that has completely changed my thinking.

She said that often, when trying to let go of stuff, we ask ourselves “Do I need this thing?” to help us determine what to get rid of vs. what to hold onto. Similarly, we may ask ourselves something similar when looking at store shelves. However, we often justify that object when we ask the question in this way.

She suggested that you instead ask yourself, “How can I manage without this?”

By challenging yourself to accept a reality where you have already let this item go, and then to visualize a reality where you are still able to live without it, you’re much more likely to do so!

I’m not asking you to go extreme minimalist (I never will). But, if you’re goal is to be more intentional with the stuff you keep and the stuff you bring into your life, give this reframe a shot!

Secret #3: Ask Yourself, “WHY More?”

One of the most effective countermeasures against spontaneous spending is simply mindfulness. That said, it’s also one of the hardest disciplines to adopt into your life because your spontaneous spending is likely a reaction to something else.

The key is to start repeatedly setting the intention now to ask yourself WHY you want to make a purchase before you do. Chances are, you’ll forget the first few times. But if you keep resetting that intention, eventually you’ll remember to do it.

And when you do, I want you to be honest with yourself!

I was once considering investing in a multi-thousand dollar coaching program. Fortunately, because of the price tag, it wasn’t something I was going to just reflexively buy. So, I spent some time trying to evaluate the decision.

I took a friend’s advice and tried journaling about it (and I’m not much of a journaler, honestly).

I started by just writing about what I was considering, but then when I started pouring out my thoughts about why I was considering it, I realized something much more significant.

The only reason I wanted the program was because I was trying to outsource the success of my business to someone else that I thought could do it; I didn’t believe in my own ability to run my business.

I didn’t want that to be my reason for joining a program like that, so I saved a couple thousand dollars and found a better path forward for myself instead.

Even if you’re considering something small, pausing for a moment and thinking about WHY you are considering that purchase can make all the difference in your final decision.

Secret #4: Anchor Yourself in Your Values & Priorities

The question of “Why” becomes all the more powerful if you can compare it to your true values and priorities. Let’s take a kitchen gadget, for example.

You might ask yourself why you want this gadget and say something like, “It’s made for bakers and I like to bake!” or “My neighbor has this and it was so cool!”

But if you value simplicity and your priority is to have a clean, decluttered space to call home that keeps you feeling calm and at peace, is an extra kitchen gadget you don’t need (but looks kinda cool) aligned with that vision?

Knowing who you are and what matters to you is a critical part of giving yourself a compass to help navigate decisions with, in both life and business!

Secret #5: Open Your Eyes to the World Around You

It wouldn’t be a More With Money post if I didn’t ruffle a few feathers. So let’s talk about selflessness for a moment.

I often see people try to find happiness and contentment by turning inwards. You’ve probably heard things like, “I’m focusing on myself right now” or “I’m tired of living for other people.”

It’s important - no, it’s VITAL - that you take care of yourself. But the truth is, this is only part of the picture. It will only take you so far. Your purpose should not end with you.

Why not? Because we live in a world with other people in it. By your existence here, you are a part of a community. Several, in fact. If you try to live in isolation, you’re missing out on all of what life has to offer you (and what you have to offer others).

And this is coming from an extreeeeeeme anti-social introvert.

You have a responsibility to take care of yourself. To ensure that your needs are met, that you are safe, and that you have a place and the space to rest and be yourself. That much is true.

But your true sense of fulfillment will come from turning the rest of your heart and attention back outwards and connecting to a bigger purpose of serving and loving others.

Wanting more and more stuff is, as hard as it is to accept, a form of greed. A form of selfishness. We all deal with it, so I don’t want you to feel attacked! But let’s call it what it is.

But if you can open up your eyes and your heart to the people around you, your perspective will shift. You’ll see others who are in need. You’ll see better uses of your time and resources. You’ll be able to connect to more important values and priorities that trump the silly spending splurge you were tempted by.

What’s Next?

To recap, here are the 5 secrets to achieving contentment:

Practice Gratitude
Take a Page From the Minimalists (“How can I manage without this?”)
Ask Yourself, “WHY Do I Want More?”
Anchor Yourself in Your Values & Priorities
Open Your Eyes to the World Around You

Choose one secret to commit to over the next month and see if it helps to ease your impulse to spend on things that don’t matter to you.

Again, this post is not here to shame spending. When done intentionally and with discipline, spending is just as important in money management as saving or earning! It’s a part of the flow of money.

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